For the first time in a year, I had just unsuspectingly step on a landmine tonight.
The evening was starting out better than previous nights this week. We sat down for dinner after I had come home. She mentioned she had a bad day at work and didn't want to talk about it, so I told her about my day. She became more at ease. I ask about her day again, and she told about her trials and tribulations at work. Havin me listen to her day seem to perk her up more. Then I cleared the dinner table. Grabbed the oil I pick up at the store earlier and did an oil change on the lawn mower and then mowed the lawn.
When I came back in the house, D9 & W were in our bedroom watching TV, with D9 at the foot of the bed and W sitting on her side, so I joined them by sitting on my side. I did lay my hand out so if she wanted to hold my hand it was easily accessible. She did place her hand in mine and we held hands while watching TV. First time in about a week. Nice.
D9 had a mild cold, so we told her to get ready for bed a little early. When D9 was already, she asked my W if she could tuck her in tonight. W replied, "Let Dad do it." D9 came back, "but its your turn. I want you to tuck me in." W says, "No." D9 gets upset and starts pleading. I offer to tuck her in. D9 insist she wants Mom. W again says curtly, "No". D9 stomps off to bed. I say to W, "Why do you want to appear mean to D9."
KAAABOOOOMM !!!
W gives me the silent treatment. I get up and tuck D9 into bed. When I come back into bedroom, W has watery eyes and is curled up. I told her what I said was not intended to hurt her. She replies, "Well you did." I apologized and tried to give her a hug, but she replies to leave her alone. I mention I didn't understand what just took place between her & D9 and just wanted to try to work through it. She says she doesn't want to talk about it. So I finished watching the show. When the president came on the air, I left the room and got my lunch ready for tomorrow. While doing that, she came out of the bedroom to take care of some loose ends and reminded me to call my mother (its her birthday) now that she should be home from my father taking her out for dinner. When she walked by I attempted another apologetic hug, but she back away and said, "I don't want to be hugged." So I pleasantly said OK and went back to finishing my lunch. She went to bed. I call my mother and spoke to Dad too for about a half hour. By then W was curled up in bed and asleep. I ponder how what I said had her hurt such and can not conceive why she doesn't grasp how her rejection to D9's request, to tuck her in, hurts D9 in the same way. I seem to have struck a raw nerve here with W. Could this be some what she is trying to deal with in C? If so, why won't she talk to me about it? If it involves D9, shouldn't I be included? How do I approach it so she is willing to talk to me about it? What other landmine are out there that I could unexpectedly step on?
