The Last Cut Is The Deepest

[hopefloats7]

Hi friends.

Well, I should clarify a few things. My H is not with the "ow". That ended a long time ago. This new gf is an innocent woman who has no idea what she is getting involved in. I don't harbor any ill feelings towards her. I mean, my H is leg. sep. so this isn't "wrong" legally and this is not the ow he ran out on me for.

He called me late last night and we talked for a while. He doesn't want me thinking this new R has prompted him to move things along (i.e., coming to get the puppy, wanting to file). He told me he spent last year alone, punishing himself for his bad decisions and really thinking hard about whether or not we should try to reconcile. He said even when he was considering it, he didn't feel it was a good idea. In the end he felt that the "consequences he would have to pay would outweigh the good" and he had to move on. He told me there were things he did miss about us and I admitted the same. He said we both needed to stop comparing what we had to anything either of us might have with someone else; it will never be like that again; never be the same; you only have that one time in you life.

He said he was better. He was turning things around and without anyone's help. I asked him if he was happy, and he didn't say yes, but he didn't say no either. He said he was getting there.
However he told me I didn't care about his happiness; that I had only wanted us to get back together and that was for my own happiness. I told him that after he left I saw how he was for a full year, and he was not doing very well at all. Even in the 2 years that followed, he was not happier. So I thought perhaps he regretted his decision to leave and maybe we could have been happy back together; us both having come out of this different, more mature adults.

He understood my thinking but he felt that it was the better choice to move on with someone new. I think it's easier for him because someone else doesn't remind him of his mistakes.
At one point he said it would be easier if we had no further contact. However, I have our dog right now and he plans to get him next month, so I know we will have to see each other then.
He said at the end of the call it would be better if he called me from now on. I never call him in the first place, so I don't know why he thinks all the sudden I would be ringing his cell. But I think he wants to put me in the past along with his big mistake and move forward with his gf.

What hurts greatly is how he said he would never do this again and I do believe that about him. He wants to improve and be better in a R, but he wants to give all of that to a new person, not to me. I hung in there, did all the hard work, only to let someone else gain the benefit when my H is finally ready to be with someone.

He also told me his head wasn't confused and "a mess" anymore. He has been reading "Become a Better You".