God give me the patience and the strength...2

[theotherhalf]

what makes you think he is going to be happy with the OW

I don't...but anything is possible. What I really think is that she is the easier route for him. That something has been between them for alot longer than I know. That he made this decision to be with her and he just may "stick" to that. That he's caused so much damage that he believes in his mind that she may be his only damamge. That he has said over and over again, " I am done with you, I don't want to try again, that I am never coming home" that he HAS to stick to that decision because "you know me, when I make my mind up, that is it!"

But I do think that I know my H and if he stays with her. One day she will pay for his choices. One day he will hate her for what he gave up to be with her.

Is there anything you can do besides going NC so you are no pressure, no responsibility for your H?

The only option I can come up with his to get the D. But again, I know my H and if we D. I believe that we will never be together again.

YOU WANT A MAN THAT WANTS TO BE WITH YOU BECAUSE HE WANTS TO...not because he is obligated to.

Yes you are very right. But can't lie, I WANT that man to be my H. And I WANT him to WANT ME.

You have to do what is best for you but from my point of view I would think that would be letting him go as much as you can so he can figure himself out.

That IS what I am doing right now. But it seems to be getting harder for me instead of easier. I have accepted the "logical" in my brain that my M IS over. That there is no more US, that he is with OW (in secret or not). That my H no longer wants to be with me. BUT, my heart tells me there is still hope for us in the future. Maybe my heart is lying to me.