ms ladybug concerned...MR bug wants to move home.

[BeingMe]

Just kinda caught up on your sitch and wanted to give my penny's worth.

Once trust is broken, it has to be earned back. To blindly trust so soon after a betrayal is foolish, and sets you up for being his own personal doormat. I've seen a lot of people on this bb who allowed the WAS back too soon, and ended up solving nothing, and before too long, things were right back where they were. Not that it will happen to you, but it don't hurt to be extra cautious. Tell him if he wants back into the M then he has to work really hard to fix what he broke, and you will do the same, but until you can trust him at least 75% more than you do now, I would not let him back.

Him saying you shouldn't live in the past, is just his way of making you feel guilty about something you should not feel guilty about, and avoiding facing what he has done (there are always consequences, and he has to face his, as much as anyone else). He scr@wed up, and now wants to sweep it under the rug, but you can't do that 'cause one day that rug will get shaken, and all that dust is going to be everywhere. (Okay, okay, weird imagery, but you get my drift, I'm sure.)

I am in piecing, and I let my H back too soon, and now I am paying for that because he has made very few changes, and I have done so much (which I am thankful for, because I think I am a better person for it today). However, our M is no better than it was before the betrayal, except I am not angry anymore (like I used to be), and don't expect anything from him, and I know I can't control his actions and choices. I still don't fully trust him, 3 years after our reconciliation ... I have just accepted that this will probably always be so, and that maybe one day he will do the same thing again, but this time I will be prepared, and will not let him back again. I don't dwell on it, but it's always in the back of my mind.

I am actually pretty happy with my life, and I have let go of the past, and moved past the A. I just wait for him to truly plug into the M again, but so far, he's not really doing much. Ah well, his loss, really.

Take care, and hope I wasn't a downer.