I fully expect the reason W does not want to go to the party is because she doesn't want to be in that situation where all eyes are on her. You see while she was in full alien mode she avoided anyone who was likely to try and talk sense into her, and now that she has started to come round she's avoiding anyone who knows the full details of what's been going on, so thats my Mum, my sister, her girls, BIL (her brother) and his wife. I guess W does need more time to adjust, but I will let her know that this would mean a lot to us and our R to go to this party and would show that we were really piecing and not just playing at it. But I'm not gonna put any more pressure on her to go.
The funny thing though, is I am going for a night out next week with the new friends I made while on my GAL mission and when I told W where I was going and who I was going with, she go really excited and asked if she could join us. I'm not sure if she wants to keep an eye on me (cos they will be lots of gals at this club) or she just wants to enjoy time with the new outgoing me. But I'm fine about it we're going out as a couple and meeting up with the gang.
W's LL is quality time and she's getting lots of it. I now know that W wants me around her all the time, even when she's peed off with me. So when I moved out for 2 months she got angry, hurt and upset and took revenge by upping things with OM, but strangely enough she still wanted me to be close by her. Even when I returned home and she couldn't bear to be in the same room as me she still wanted me to be in the same house. So for W just having me around at the moment is more important to her than the sex.
I've been reading up on the importance of still flirting even though you've been married a while. W laughs and giggles at my flirting but she doesn't flirt back, I just think she enjoys the fact that she has my full attention. Example, W now laughs at the fact that I found her a sleep on the "pot" and had to put her to bed, she has told her friends about it too. W asks me why I removed her underwear before putting her to bed and I told her I just wanted to have a look at what I'd been missing and she just said "Awwh that's nice".
Night time there's no pressure on W for sex, she know I want it and she can feel my aroused state but she just happy to snuggle up to me. It's quite ironic that at the start of the year I just put my hand on her shoulder and she nearly jumped out of the bed, now I'm practically wrapped around her when we fall asleep and she's very happy with that.
The OM thin still bugs me a little bit but I feel his presence less. I think W had to distance herself from me to be with him, and I have to admit I felt that distance in the last two years when she said he was gone (but apparently not). Now I can feel W getting closer, and her keenness to do family things for the 3 of us shows me OM is further away but maybe not gone. It would be nice to hear some words to say that he is gone but I'm not gonna push for it.
