She's not happy. Happiness is the illusion she's trying to chase. To fill that empty hole she feels inside. You did it for her for a while, but you can't fill that void. Neither will what she is doing now. She seems happy because it's something new - Like getting a new car. Looks great till you get used to it and see that your neighbor got next years' model. It will wear off, then she'll try the next thing, and the next thing.
Maybe that's true. Either way I'm sure to her _anything_ is better than being in the relationship we had, with me in the emotional state I was in. That's what is so sad about this. That instead of seeing me as a person she loves with 'possibilities', instead of remembering how I stood for our marriage 2 years ago while she was crashing, or even realizing what a toll that took on me, she saw me as a person she couldn't 'fix' when I was falling down, and who couldn't fix himself.
It was uncomfortable, and unhappy, and her final choice was to give up on me.
And every day she sees me be either neutral or sad as I try my best to get out of the hole I've been in - without her help - and in her mind that helps her to reinforce her belief that I'll 'never be a happy person'.
That's so unfair. Life is unfair but if you decide to love someone you should mean it.
One thing that bothers me is how 'easy' it is for her to shut off feelings for me, and turn on feelings for other men. I guess I'll never understand that.
