God give me the patience and the strength...2

[theotherhalf]

But UD everyone here has said that the NC would possibly bring turn him around. That it would help. Well it did for me the first couple of weeks. I figured he was angry because I called the NC. But now it is getting soooo hard for me.

I think that he is spending MORE time with OW. Before this I think he was trying to end things with her. He seems fine at NC. He is REALLY angry at me now. More than even in the beginning.

Yes it is true that I don't need the drama. But the NC is really really tuff for me. Regardless of what happens in our M. I can't stand not talking to him. I can't deal with him not acknowelging that I even exist. Right now it seems he really does hate me.

And tonight all the thoughts of WHY, and what did I do that was so wrong, why did he leave me for her, why doesn't he love me anymore, what happened, why don't I deserve a second chance? Those questions are weighing really hard on me tonight. Although my head tells me to not care. To let him go and move on. That I deserve to be treated so much better. But the love in my heart keeps me hanging on...