Yes, she may be angry that you didn't wine and dine her but you don't know that for sure.. she just might be upset or hurt that you didn't speak to her about it at all.. Also, I'm not sure how often you used to talk but if it was pretty regular and now it's halted all together she may be feeling completely unloved.. like maybe that since you and H are having problems that you don't care for her anymore. Realistically there could be a million reasons why things have gotten strained between you two but we won't know until you actually speak to each other.. then at least the healing can begin.
Now why do your feelings not count? Of course your feelings count.. but sometimes somebody has got to be the bigger human being in situations like this.. And I, like you, always find that I'm the one to reach out.. and for you, in not reaching out to her.. you are also hurting yourself.. and I hate to see you hurting yourself.
Now the idea about mother's day sounds like a lovely idea.. you are very thoughtful!
