Reclaiming myself and my life 4

[faithisbelieving]

Infidelity ALONE is an issue that takes ENORMOUS effort for most marriages to overcome. Put infidelity together with a situation like most of us have been in, where daily we were more worried about the state of a possible reconciliation, and it's easy to see how we can allow a CLEARLY significant issue to be minimized in our efforts to restore the "marriage."

Frank...I can vouch for that. I stayed through 3, let's say, indiscretions during which time I was working as best I can to achieve that brass ring here. I was repaid heavily with repetitive infidelity. Again, does one believe in statistics? If recidivism is high, is it worth the risk?

It's not a punishment where they have to 'beg for forgiveness'. It's them having enough empathy to understand what they put you through and if they love you enough, they will want to heal that wound any way they can.

...and I agree with this frank. I read a similar book. It is not a matter of torturing them forever...punishing them for their transgressions...demanding a bounty. It's about their ability to see what they did was WRONG while married..it's about their ability to WANT you AND the trust back and THAT is where THEY must do the work. I'm not sure what book you read, but, most of the one's I've read say that if the person who committed the infidelity is not willing to put the work in, most M's end up in D.

Forgiveness can be given honestly and sincerely, and trust can still remain destroyed.

And that, Frank...THAT...will be the epitaph on the tombstone of my marriage. Text messages that say sorry and 'unsubstantiated claims' that they want the marriage back...mean nothing without their desire to gain back trust. Trust frank...trust...is the foundation on which love rests. Without it......................................................................................

FIB