How to win my wife back? HELP!!

[smileysmile1966]

Ok.. if you have been reading my story the latest is..

Last week I was asked by my ex via text (surprise surprise) to compile all the baby pics from pc onto dvd that were taken before she left in August 2007.
Also video footage which she asked for me to record onto dvd.

Well I compiled the photos and gave the disks to her a few days later.
When it came to the videos. I had about 5 hours of us and the baby and family between mid 2005 and Summer 2007.
I had to transfer them onto the dvd player hard drive and then the ex will give me the dvds.

So, looking at the happy times and seeing us and our daughter I sort of flipped. It prompted me to make up a fictional man. I called him Tony and he was a 35 yr old single copper.

I plucked his photo off the internet and it was a convincing pic because it was a pic that was taken with a mobile.
I had a spare phone so one night last week I texted my STBXW.

"Hello *****, how are you?"
She responded and asked me to enlighten her who it was?
Oh is this a game? Ok, male or female?
I texted her that I was told she was a pretty blonde and newly divorced (we are not D yet) and lonely.

She asked me who gave me her number? She was a bit wary and had her suspicions it would me. Although she never said but told Tony she had her reasons why she was wary and thought it might be a wind up.

Throughout our text chat over the week I was 'fishing'.
I sent her a photo of 'Tony'.
She must have liked it. Her text(s) were kind of flirty. She asked for my age, station and credentials? Followed by a wink. Hmmm what ever could that mean..ladies?

I kept asking for a pic and eventually she sent one of her golden labrador laying down. With the caption above it, "Pretty blonde on all 4's pining for you!"
A possible sexual innuendo? She thinks its sarcasm lol

Then eventually she sends a pic.

I fished more as not to be detected. She said shes definately not on the rebound. Told me what her type of man is, athletic to muscular, manly really. He can be a hunk but if we don't connect mentally I am not interested.
She still kept asking me who gave me her number and was nervous. She was wary because she might be saying to much. I asked her why she split from her ex. I didn't like what I heard. She couldn't tell him enough.
I asked did he hit you? She replied, kinda of..at the end only!

Well I found this upsetting and lies. I had to end it.

I made my reasons as she kept on asking me who gave me her number.
I said it was a female who knew her. I had to end this. I made my excuses and she flipped.
She caught me out as she suspected it was me. Because of the way it ended.
She rang my mobile later and rang Tonys (which was beside me) from her landline phone. It rang. I had to hang up as I was on the train. She texted Tonys phone, "got you, you freak!"

Definition of freak. Genetically devious individual.

We had a bit of a text war the next morning. She texted me 6.30am in capital letters about me coming up with £300 for the divorce etc etc.

I replied for her not to threaten me. Told her I couldnt believe how she could tell a complete stranger the things she did. That she had no class and dignity etc etc.
I wanted my travel pass now and the divorce. But I would only pay half.

She won't give it back but shes going to see the solicitor.
She thinks I am a weird freak now.

But before you all jump on my back. Yes it was as my ex says not "normal" or/and "right" and no justification. For a father to do this.

But my counsellor says that the video recording had triggered this behaviour. I had to find out "where she was in her life."
I found more than I bargained for
I never once flirted with her. She did with me and I can't believe she spoke about me the way she did to a complete stranger. She was intrigued to get to know 'Tony' more.

I was hoping she was going to tell me to sling my hook until I told her who gave me her number.
I can't believe she opened up so much and I was upset and shocked.
I have texted her my feelings on this.

I needed to know. I really needed to know. I was fed up of her telling me that she never said anything to anybody, especially a total stranger.
Fair enought, a friend or family. Is this what she is capable of?!
Now I have had my eyes opened.

I was due to have my D on the Sunday after the Friday this concluded.
She texted me "simply this..NO..tough mate!"
I texted her that please don't take it out on me seeing D.
This is the way she will do it to get back at me.

It went back to normal the falling Thursday. I had access to my D.
But she gave me daggers when she opened the door.
Handed me our D and I put her in the car. She placed the bags and pram outside the front door and then locked her front door.
She never gave me my travel pass back.
The same when I dropped D off in the evening. She took her off me and and the bags. Then as I placed the pram back in the boot of her car she locked her front door without a word.
I rang her bell and she came to her lounge window and said what do you want? I said come to the door. She said what do you want? I said grow up..she replied, rich coming from you!

I gave up and left. I will have my D this coming Saturday.

In a nutshell I have asked for the travel pass back because we aren't a couple anymore and I don't owe you anything. Only our D.
As far as I know she has or is going now to FINALLY file for divorce.
On the other hand I have mentioned in one of my texts that I was going to let her keep the pass well into the next year to help her out. But after catching her out, the way I did and the things she said about me wasn't dignified for somebody who supposedly "truly" loved me and to a complete stranger.
So shes hanging for dear life to that (DAMN) travel pass and maybe STILL will not file for D as doing she will inevitably will have to surrender it.

Hence why she probably didn't hand it back to me and that she locked the door so I wouldn't be able to ask for it back.

Well there will never be a repeat performance of this. I have to move on.
I found out what I needed to know without much prompting
Not what I wanted to hear and I have tortured myself.
I won't do anything like this or similar again. I have to regain her trust.
Not to win her back. But to show I am not this "freak" she claims I am now.

She has to understand that I still have feelings. That watching these videos pushed/prompted me to do this. I haven't done myself any favours but I have found out shes not on the rebound and that she can easily text a sexual innuendo to a stranger. Also the icing on the cake, the main reason I asked for my pass back is what she said about the reason(s) she left me.
Again to a stranger who texted her out of the blue.

I have to get back on track now. Clear my head. Go on holiday in the sun. Get to the gym. Focus. Start dating. Be there for my daughter.
Also bide time, patience on building trust with the ex to stay amicable for the sake of our D.