Your situation -- and your whole convo with your wife -- reminds me sooooo much of my sitch with my W last summer that it's scary.
I agree with your interpretation of it. It's common "script" for the spouse having an affair to want to "normalize" things, and to want everyone to "just go along" with their plan.
I think you handled it beautifully.
I would not engage her from this point forward in any R or M talk. "That's for the attorneys to decide," or "I'll need to ask my attorney about that" should be your response. She's desperately wanting to tie up her guilt and her marital loose ends on her way out, but it's simply not your job to help her feel good about all this.
Never rescue an infidel from the consequences of their infidelity.
