MLC BS/2?

[missmyfriend]

I have been catching up on your thread, Patrick, and want to add something to some incredibly great posts from people that care about you and how this turns out.

First, a man is someone who puts his family first above his own needs or desires. Your Ds, who are undoubtedly important to you, need you to think of them with every action and every word that comes out of your mouth. You are worried about what they are learning by being "forced" to live at the OM's house? Then what is the right thing to do? It is to be completely moral as you can possibly be even when they aren't watching you. You cannot be a double-minded person because it is impossible to do without people realizing it.

Second, we are told to focus on ourselves during this process. That doesn't mean we are supposed to satisfy our desires, carnal or otherwise. What it means is that we are supposed to focus on improving ourselves. Making ourselves better people. Being of worth to others in a positive way. It doesn't mean we are to focus on ourselves to explore other intimate relationships or to hang out with our friends at bars and get drunk (I do enjoy a drink every now and then, btw) or any other counterproductive activity.

Third, don't even say that you are through with your W because you are so spitting mad at her and the betrayal, you have shown that you are hurt and miss her with an extreme intensity. Face it, you love her and this hurts worse than anything you have ever experienced in your life.

Now, let me ask you, Patrick, if someone you cared about but the pain of a previous R with them made you want to walk away from them, would actions and words similar to yours, draw you back? How should they act to get your attention in a positive way? Would getting friends, family or your shared children work on you or would it upset you further?

For me, if someone wanted to attract me back to them, I would be more interested in seeing them be happier in life, being more positive, treating me nice and with respect every time we interact, hearing nothing negative being reflected back from friends, family, and children.

My point is that while you can do nothing, NOTHING, about what is happening externally, you can work on yourself internally, to be better for you, your children and any relationships you have. We have described our spouses being self-destructive. Do not join your wife with such harmful behavior.

I hope you dont think I am being harsh on you. I have read your thread from the beginning and am very concerned for you. You have my prayers.