Starting over and intimacy after divorce.

[Willing NJ H]

Thanks Beth.

She seems somewhat understanding, but when it first came up she was offended because she thought it was her. We talked and she's understanding, but doesn't quite understand how it would affect me this way. She's cool about it and has suggested waiting until i'm ready, but there's a certain disappointed look that she gets from time to time when intimacy comes up. I think i'm dwelling on it more than she is, and i'm doind everything I can to let it go, but it's kicking my butt right now. Like i said, I don't feel bad and didn't expect this. I can feel the stress, but have now made it worse on myself.

As far as what I want and need, i've always known that, but am probably a bit nervous about trusting that way again. I'm not consciously afraid to trust in time, but it does make me very nervous. Not the day to day "will they be fiathful" kind of trust, but the trust you have in a marriage. The little bubble you live in knowing that you world is wonderful and things will always work out becasue someone special is by your side. I'm not looking for that right now, but I think the thought of being with any woman brings it out. The theraputic things I have done throughout this ordeal have given me plenty of tools, but everything has to do with time. I think i've backed myself into this corner and want to work it out without letting go of someone I feel good with.