Thanks for your words. I am with you concerning my kids. I would almost stay with H (if he agreed to stay) indefinitely if it meant raising our kids together and letting them enjoy childhood with a mom and dad together. But I say ALMOST b/c without change it wouldn't work that way. H would wind up in the same patterns, angry a lot, Mommy would be crying and sad a lot. And the kids would thus be on edge a lot. Not a happy childhood picture either. So although I am wanting this to work out for my kids (and honestly for me too), I know I have to have boundaries, limits, and expectations, too, so that they have the best childhood possible under these circumstances. And I can't say right now what that will be......
SOOO Glad It is Friday. I had been doing really well for a few weeks until I found out about OW last Thursday. This week has felt a lot like that first week in Nov. when I caught them. Not as much emotional pain as then b/c I have been through it already, but my mind is racing again. I am at work but I am not REALLY at work, if you know what I mean. I am thinking, thinking, thinking about what/where/when/how/why to handle my M. And at this point I know I have done my part and there isn't a lot I can do for my M except be strong. But that doesn't make my mind stop spinning---there is an old country song, "Stop the World and Let me Off". I would like 3 or 4 days "off" right now just to sleep and rest and get myself together without the worries of a job, kids, house, etc. Oh, yes, but I AM at work, aren't I? So I better try to do SOME....
