No one to turn to- 2

[addie]

Hi Everyone,
I'm back! I had family visiting for several days. It was really great for the PMA. Of course I had to share some details about my sitch since H is no longer living here.
During this time I went dark (after a major backslide) and had no contact with H for a week. He emailed me once and left a voice mail on my cell but I didn't respond. It was mainly about S11 but we had discussed all of it before I went dark so I didn't feel the need to respond.

During the period of darkness, I realized a couple of things: 1) I was busy and didn't have much time to miss H 2)I really need to get back to the very full life I left behind.
I have come to a decision that S and I will soon??? be moving back to my hometown where I have a job, family and friends. It will be much easier to move forward with my life. I'm not sure how I'll continue to DB when I'm a few thousand miles away but at the same time I know I have to detach and worry about myself and S. The move here was a trial move. I now have nothing to hold me here. H also thinks it's a good idea that I move back with S (possibly because he'll feel less guilt to continue OR if I'm not around). However, I know that I can't worry about his reasons - I have to do what is best for myself and S.
Yesterday was our anniversary. I was fine most of the day trying not to think about it. H came by in the evening to be with S while I went to my course. We were civil with each other. He left soon after I got back. Neither one of us mentioned the anniversary.

I'll try to catch up on your posts when I get a chance.