Helloooo...Smoother Ride....Where Are You?? - Pt.2

[SueS]

Journaling..........

H was out again last night. We saw him briefly and then he left. Actually, how it worked was this... H had to pick up a rental car for his trip out of town today. I now see a mistake I made. I work for a major rental car co. He made a reservation for a veh to receive my discount. We (D3 & I) gave him a ride to the rental location last night after he got off work. The ride was approx. 10 minutes. As he got out of the car, he said....I'm going out for a while. HUH??? D3 was very bummed. She had expected daddy to come home and spend a little time with her. NO!....more important to go out.

H got home very, very late.....about 2:30-3:00 am. And, he wanted sex. ??? Didn't happen. He was a bit too intoxicated and fell asleep. I had gotten up to check on D3 to avoid the whole mess of him getting angry when I said no. He had wanted to go to breakfast this morning. I thought about not giving him the experience of spending time with D3 and just leaving him to oversleep and get out of town late. However, I decided to wake him up EARLY and watch him suffer from his headache. We went to breakfast and off he went out of town. And, yes, I'm sure he's by himself. He has shared far too many details of his trip with me and he called from the road not long ago.

My mind still wonders about how he thinks this new life with OW will work. His going out drinking and going out of town and doing his own things is so much a part of him. He's not a person that can just settle things down once they are together. He made so many promises to me over the years that were never kept. Some very important promises, like not drinking when I was pregnant or like making sure I could stop working after D3 was born. Even small things like being home on time are never things he's been able to do. I guess I should have known years ago when he thought it was no big deal that he wasn't home in time for me to go to a fitting for my wedding dress....and didn't even call me to say he'd be late. His response....so you make another appointment.

Well, the pressure is off now until tomorrow evening when he gets back home.

Our landlord just emailed me and wants to come over on Sunday to discuss the fact that our lease is ending on 7/31. H and I have not talked about this. It would be a bit uncomfortable for it all to come out when the landlord is sitting there.

Have a great day!

SueS