Woog, I know you would, but you just want the hotel so you can eat room service and TM your G27....
No honestly I know what you are saying but I am not that brave. I am feeling like Piglet from Winnie the Pooh today, insecure and afraid of my own shadow. Taking a stand against H and what that represents is something I have NEVER really done before which is probably how I got in this mess.....
Sunday before he left we kissed, hugged, he said ILY to me a few different times, we went on that date Saturday night, he called ME (not the kids) Sun, Mon and Tues nights. Then I go and send him practically a dear john letter on Wed.
I know it had to be done b/c he could do all those wonderful things and still be w/OW, still be lying to me and having life both ways. But I am afraid that things were improving (he threw out the one phone and showed me the other one), and I killed it. I know it is stupid to feel this way but I do. That is probably why I always buried my head in the sand, b/c I was afraid if I rocked the boat one of us would fall overboard, permanently...
Don't worry I am not going to call or text him and say my letter was a mistake. I can't undo what I have done now, it says in the DR book (plus duh it is common sense) that if you issue an ultimatum and then back out of it, the H (or W) will totally lose respect for you and never believe you again when it comes to taking a stand, you lose all credibility. So I am standing by what I said, it is all true anyway.
Just read Kalni's posting and I totally agree, I want my H to come back to me b/c he LOVES ME, not b/c I talked him into it, guilted him into it, pressured him into it, etc. But I still want H to come back to me and I have no control over that. I know I need to focus on ME and I am managing to take care of the kids, find a new job, etc. all while dealing with this crazy mess. But still at the end of the day, even after writing him that I can't be with him anymore, I really really really want my H back.
(I will wear a helmet when I check back in b/c I can FEEL the 2x4s being launched even as we speak)
