Letter from WAW after she flew to my city for talk

[GH31]

Hello again Just_Me,

Really appreciate you looking out for me on this board. You're right, I am not a sure thing any more.

These are the facts: wife is gone, has moved to another country, is involved with OM, no kids, we are very far from each of our families, I do not have a phone number for her, the only means of communication we have is email, or she can call me at work like today.

For this reason (and I am sure that Michele would agree), the only technique available to me is the LRT. I really do see no other means of salvaging this marriage, something I am very committed to doing. We really have no reason to see each other - we have no house that we own, no kids, no joint finances...nothing other than our history and whatever chemistry is left. I also have great relationships with her siblings and father but that won't help me save the marriage. She herself has to want to.

The only way I have been able to keep the communication channels open is by doing the first 2 stages of DBing - containing and reducing the negative emotions of WAW, and working on strengthening the friendship. WAW agrees that she no longer feels angry or resentful and thinks of me as her "bestest friend". We may ven have crossed into the "dating" level number 3 (albeit briefly) as there was a lot of passionate kissing, cuddling during her visit and we even skipped along the street together near my home. She's saying very positive things about getting together again but is far from committed.

She said she doesn't belong in England where she is and that she "doesn't see herself" spending her life with this OM, but as a default reaction I believe none of it. She wants me to give her money as well as she is living off her credit card, but I won't do that if she's with OM and we have no kids. I didn't make the decision to end OR.

We are to believe none of what we hear when are WASs are in the throes of their torment, yes?? There are always 2 stories: the real one and the one that sounds good. You may be able to tell that I have always had tremendous difficulty trusting other human beings!

thanks

GH31