I will try this again with a clearer head..help

[Dom R]

Dodo,

what I wrote, doesnt make having an affair less wrong.
what I wrote, implies that, if a person chooses a dark path for themselves for a season, that does not neccessarily define "who they really are". Rather, it means that they gave in to temptation.
Unfortunately, once they cross that line, some people decide "well, i crossed the line now, so here's where I am", and decide that they "cant go back".
I find that very sad, if their spouse is willing to forgive, but they are too proud to ask for forgiveness.

There is free will. there is still the posibility for that person to choose otherwise in the future. They may very well NOT choose otherwise. But... people do sometimes change. for better or worse.

As far as your own temptation goes... you had only minor opportunity.
In that you had someone who was apparently interested in you. But you didnt have much OPPORTUNITY or temptation to do so. You only saw her at work. You would have to make a whole bunch of concious decisions, and a lot of effort, to turn that potential interest, into a full-blown affair.

You refer to your EX-wife. Imagine, if you will then, if it was the time just before you were officially divorced..and the "giddy brunette" was around you then.. AND you were off on a business trip with her... AND you were at the same hotel... AND she had come over to your room, and was telling you what a great guy you were compared to your wife...

maybe you cant really imagine it. Which is great for you; because it means you havent been truely, deeply tempted.
That makes you lucky. not a saint.