you are not a loser, she is the loser, its just in todays world things are not what they seem.....destroying your family when there is no good reason ..that is the loser....and he is a loser, taking another mans wife...that turns my stomach...try your best to detach....dont date, but move on, its hard based on your timing.this will be a long journey. Do you go to church? Maybe there is a mens group you could get involved in..think about how you can get a life..this affair thing can take a very long time to burn out and yes sometimes the damage is too much. Its just you need time to heal and in the mean time while your healing maybe she will get a reality check , maybe not...either way in the end you will be the winner, becuase you will have grown during this trial...and she took the wrong road..that will affect many lives.....
