Hello Mr. MLC part deux!!

[mymonkeybug]

OK FG and anyone else that has told me to back off...yep I farted it up again. Obviously I am doing the same old stuff. Why can't I figure this out?

Anyway H and I spoke this morning as I mentioned I had to text hime about a financial matter. I broke down into tears and apologized for my roll in our poor financial choices and how I realize he harbors resentment towards me because he earned and I paid the bills and when he wanted something or I did webought it even if it meant something else didn't get paid, hence our problems. He always trusted me and I betrayed that. So anyway I can accept that as my fault.

He got angry with me telling me that all he asked me for are the last 3 years of W2's and I could only give him 2007 and some paper about this Controlled Seperation I had read about rather than legal seperation. He was pissed that I couldn't give him the other W2's. I explained to him as I did lastnight that I couldn't find them, and reminded him about how cluttered my office is and how I really couldn't find them to which lastnight he laughed because he knows it is so true. I explained to him through my tears how scared I was because I have depended on him for eveyrthing for nearly 20 years and now that is all gone and he professed that he was not trying to ruin me or kick me out of the house and reminded me that I also have the same seperation papers form the courthouse that he does and that neither one of us has done anything with them. So he hasn't done anything with them? Interesting. He explained that the reason he wanted the W2's is because he istrying to refi. the house so that the kids and I can stay because we ahve never been able to afford it and he doens't want us to leave it if we don't have to.

I told him that had he only said that the other day and not thrown in all that stuff about talking to a L and getting the paperwork going for seperation that I wouldn't have paniced. I told him that the secrets and little ommissions he is keeping from me are what is causing my behavior as well as my inability to control my emotions.

So I told him I would bust tail today to find the other 2 years of W2's and have them on the table if he wanted to come by while we gone to get them. I then sent him a text letting him know that I did find them and they are ready for him.

This detaching thing is tough. I can't seem to get the hang of it and if I do something right in regards ot DB'ing and GAL I always seem to slip back and then have to go back track.

Anyway, I look forward to this trip and hope it will help me clear my mind and do some major detaching.