W and I piecing this M back together

[GFI]

Hi Lan

Is there any point in proposing that you all "pop" into the party to say "Hi" & leave gift etc and say to W that if she senses anything uncomfortable then you can leave for some other pre-arranged commitment. If, on the other hand, she feels ok then you can stay.

That way you are validating her feelings - as groundless as they might be, while also making a stand in terms of your intentions with your family.

Best GFI