thanks everyone for the uplifting thoughts. I know in my heart that I am a better person that OW is and that I love my H more than she ever could. My H is not doing much in the reassurance dept right now. He is in C but is trying to find the loving feeling he once had for me. When he first left he said he didnt think he ever loved me. Since he has realized he must have and is trying to find it again. He has not told me he loves me since he came back and we have only been intimate once which was pretty devastating for him because in his words, with her it was so natural and easy and with me it is not. The feelings just are not there. He has shown small signs like holding my hand and kisses good by and being attentive, so I am trying hard to be patient. I have lost 49 pounds in the last 3 months (he has been home for 2) and I am doing it for me finally. I am excercising and taking much better care of myself than I ever did. He is trying to transfer to an other Post office so he will be away from her. I dont know if it is so much to relieve my mind, or so that he does not have to see her everyday and be reminded of what he could have had (physically at least). I honestly dont know if he will ever be able to say he loves me and I dont want to live without that. My life has turned into a soap opera.
