Texted H on way home from teaching b/c S needs his medicine filled for his ear infection and I have no insurance cards. H called me back and said there should be insurance cards in the mail today, to go and look. This was at 4 so he should have gotten the letter already....Got home and the cards were in the mail. Called H and got voicemail, said "We got the cards, thanks." He texts back, "Still at work, what's up?" like he didn't listen to the message. So I just texted back, "Cards were in mail, thanks"
Anyway we went to town to get the meds and H calls, like 20 minutes after the text. He talked to me for 10 minutes. Said he had a long talk w/boss today and boss says he understands that H's job as head of sales is the toughest job in the office, etc. His biggest frustration w/prior job was that the boss didn't "get" him, "get" the business, etc. I said you must be so much happier to have a boss who understands you and supports you, he said, yeah it will be so much better.
As he was talking he apparently drove past a restaurant we went to a lot when we were dating, "Oh Howards, forgot about that place", he said. I said, yeah I loved their tacos and the mariachi band, you are making me hungry. I forgot about those restaurants,too. Well he proceeds to name 3 or 4 more restaurants we used to go to all the time when we were dating, said, "I work close to all of those places".
Can anyone tell me, after I write a letter saying I can't stay in this marriage, why is he going on a trip down memory lane?
Since I closed my letter saying I am tired of fighting and want kids to have positive memories, (and honestly b/c I still love H even if I can't live with him), I stayed upbeat throughout the convo., agreeing that I loved all of those places, too. I never mentioned my letter and neither did he.
Of course, none of this changes my mind about anything. I am still removing myself from the fight and moving forward w/my life. I will welcome H as a friend and parenting partner, but nothing else. In time we can revisit things if he gives me reasons to want to...but for now, friends it is. Maybe that is even too generous. But he'll always be my kids dad.
Anyway it was just surreal that I threw in the marital towel at 1:00 and at 6:00 we are talking about the good old days??
