I mean, I am extremely disappointed in how things stand, but I feel better knowing you guys supported my decision today. Woog, thanks for saying my H needed a 2 x 4. Kalni, thanks for saying you agree with my decision. Kerry, thanks for saying that Michele's book recommends a similar toughness in these situations; even though you said it could backfire, at this point I felt out of other options.
JustMe, you give me my own dose of Tough Love these days, which I need. You are right, I wasn't that overbearing. I didn't say I will hate you till the day I die, you are a terrible father, I could never imagine going anywhere near you again, etc. I just told him that I was tired of fighting for someone who wasn't fighting for me...and that is entirely true. You are right when I look at it logically, he should be on those proverbial hands and knees for me, with all he has done to hurt me over the years. And he isn't because I have never expected or required real repentance/change from him. A few loving words and promises and I was ready to believe him b/c I wanted my H back, my M back....
You guys are all so helpful! I am glad I have this board...
On a related note, my mom called this afternoon. Seems MIL called her today to say how glad she is I got the job. MIL said that H has called a realtor (he mentioned that part to me yesterday) and has her looking for a townhouse for US, as a family.....Of course MIL doesn't know today's developments but it is ironic that H is looking for a place for US to live in. Either he is planning to make changes or just assumes I will move in with him the way things are right now. Well at this point he has gotten my letter via. e-mail (I sent it at 1:00), so he should know better by now.
At first I got a scary twinge in my gut when mom said he was looking for a house for US. I thought, great, and then I blew it by writing my letter. But I took some time to think, and if he still wants to live w/me, and he read my letter, then he knows he needs to make some changes. My letter couldn't have "blown" it if he sincerely wants me in his life....
