Check this out...Do you guys fall guilty of any of these distortions??
Jen ************************************ The ten cognitive distortions 1. All-or-nothing thinking: All-or-nothing thoughts are characterized by absolutes. This distortion polarises a person's thinking into either extremes without any shades of grey. Perfectionist thoughts are often characterized by this distortion - they often feel if something is not perfect than it's a total failure.
2. Overgeneralization: A single negative event is seen as a never ending pattern of failure or defeat. These thoughts are characterized by words such as "always" or "never". For example, when John had a romantic rejection he thought, "Girls just don't like me. I'll always be alone."
3. Mental Filter: This is characterized by concentrating all efforts on a single negative details at the cost of other positive ones. Example: A teacher praises your essay a lot and adds in the end, "... but your handwriting is terrible, you really need to work on that." You obsess only on this negative comment for days, ignoring all the positive feedback you got.
4. Discounting the positive: You reject all positive outcomes by insisting that they "don't matter". Example: A designer, you create a great piece of art and everyone praises you. You discount it by saying, "These people have no idea. Any designer could have done this". This distortion takes the joy out of life and makes you feel frustrated and inadequate.
5. Jumping to conclusions: Without factual basis you assume things will go negatively. There are 2 formats of this distortion:
a. Mind reading: Without any confirmation, you conclude that a person is reacting negatively to you. Example: "She must think I am idiot."
b. Fortune telling: You predict a negative outcome; that "things will go bad". Example: Before an interview you might think, "I am going to mess this up and not get the job."
6. Magnification / Minimization: "Making a mountain out of a molehill" characterizes this thought pattern. You might exaggerate the importance of your problems and shortcoming and / or minimize your plus points.
7. Emotional reasoning: You assume your negative feelings reflect reality. Example: "I hate myself. This proves I am a rotten person." or "I feel angry. This means I am being treated unfairly."
8. "Should statements": You believe that things should be the way you hoped or expected. Example: "I shouldn't have scolded her." or "People should be nice to everyone." Should statements directed against yourself make you feel frustrated and guilty while those directed at other people make you feel frustrated and angry.
9. Labeling: Another form of all-or-nothing thinking, you attach a negative label to yourself or others. Example: Instead of saying you made a mistake, you label yourself a "loser". You may also label others - "He is a SOB". Labeling makes you think that the problem is with persons character, rather than his / her attitude or belief.
10 Personalization / Blame: Personalization is characterized by a tendency to hold yourself responsible for events that were beyond your control and leads to feelings of guilt, shame and inadequacy. Example: A child does something bad, and the mother thinks, "It's my fault, I am a bad mother." Blame is the opposite of personalization where you don't take any responsibility and blame other people. Example: "My girl friend is responsible for all the misery in our relationship."
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
