right now she gets upset when our friends talk to me about stuff...She tried to prod me a couple times during the morning, but I ignored it. I have learned that if I let her alone, she usually cools off.
It might be that she doesn't want you talking about her with others. Regardless, I am sure completely ignoring it is not going to be your answer. She was definitely bothered by it because it was on her mind the next morning. If you are going to talk to people about "stuff" find someone that is not a mutual friend. It justs sets you back. She will end up pushing those friends away because they invalidate her and her feelings. Perhaps, just post/vent here. Might want to reread well-meaning friends section in DR book. You get some bad advice. They just don't know you and your sitch, no matter how much you tell them and how much they know. They are not qualified.
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I told her that maybe they know first hand how it works and are telling her what they thing is in our best interest... She didn't buy it.
sounds pursuing and invalidates her feelings. The friends my WAW had before separation she never contacts now. Think about it for a second, a friend, family member whatever is going to convince her to do something different...I just don't believe it.
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Now she is mad at me and mad at herself I guess for putting up with me for 15 years...She did say that a leopard never changes and that I would go back. I said that I wouldn't, that it had been 19 months now and that I had made some life altering changes that would stick this time.
My WAW is mad like that for seeing my changes, acknowledges them, blah blah, she has said that in 5-10 years she'll have to be there for 5D when I go back to whatever. All of that is to say you wife is not convinced. You just need to be consistent and patient. In 19 months, you undoubtly made some changes, were you consistent? Doesn't sound like she is convinced. Also, "would stick this time"...sounds like you've tried before and dropped the ball on something important to you and her also.
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saying that our friends and I care a lot about her and are here for her when she is ready.
be careful how you say things, it could really feel like "we care about you while you are not well"...lot of pressure
