It took a long time for her to admit that the affair was 'wrong' and even now I don't think she has really come to terms with it. She is in denial and is able to 'justify' it even today.
This brings to mind another thing that I processed back in early 2007 in coming to grips with the end of my marriage. Once this line is crossed, it seems to me that it takes a herculean effort to ensure that you would not cross it again.
Infidelity ALONE is an issue that takes ENORMOUS effort for most marriages to overcome. Put infidelity together with a situation like most of us have been in, where daily we were more worried about the state of a possible reconciliation, and it's easy to see how we can allow a CLEARLY significant issue to be minimized in our efforts to restore the "marriage."
I asked my ex-FIL once how I was supposed to overcome this matter should the ex and I reconcile one day. Since he had been through a very similar ordeal with my ex's mother (i.e. multiple affairs and even a divorce for a year), I asked him how they got through that part of the reconciliation. His response was that they never spoke of that time period again.
That bothered me, because I don't do "stick your head in the sand" all that well. But I guess that's one approach.
Sorry, just pondering here.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
