I totally agree with the advice you have gotten and am super happy to hear you so strong and thinking about yourself and your well being and being careful with the new guy.
I love Ag's comment about taking each situation on it's own. he was inconsiderate on a few levels and you need to look at it straight on without cutting him slack for past nice deeds.
If I were you, I would go a little dim right now. He needs to prove to you that you are worth the effort and as you said, you cannot force him to treat well, you simply have to see if he will do it. Give him the chance to pursue you and make it up to you but don't go begging for it (I know you won't, but you know what mean) and if he cannot meet your expectations, don't settle! He messed up and by going a little dim you will be sending the message that you will retreat when you are not treated with respect.
I am learning a lot myself about the kind of attention I need from a man. I need to be wooed and courted and I also have to learn how to respect myself enough not to put up with any bad behavior or disrespect.
I do think that making his spring break plans without at least informing you was showing disrespect.
