I haven't been on the boards in a while but you asked me a question 6 months ago which deserves an answer. ______________________________________________________________
Originally Posted By: TheWanderer DNQ, I haven't posted much and I just picked up on your thread but I know exactly what you are going through.
I found myself in a R while my WAW was in her R w/ OM. It took me 3 tries to finally end that R. I had hoped that WAW would see my efforts at ending my relationship but she stayed with OM. Almost 3 months after I ended that relationship WAW still sees OM and the 1 yr anniversary of the bomb 'I want a separation' just passed so I figure she's not going to end things properly with OM so I find myself in a new R with another woman. I was just saving $ for the mediator to get the paperwork through and WAW is saying she wants to come back. (Even though she still communicates and sometimes see OM - they're in a band together) ______________________________________________________________
Wanderer, did your being in a R have any affect on your wife, even though she was in one herself? Now you're in another one, she's still seeing OM and wants to come back? What caused her turnaround?
My being in a new R affected W only slightly. It didn't deter her from her OM. She did not turn around. She has maintained her R w/ OM.
I have ended my R w/ OW. I know now it is a cruel thing to get another woman involved. She too had become involved in my life, my family, my kids and when I ended it she was very angry. I did not love her.
I will never do that again.
I am very much still in love with my W. Even if she loves OM.
Just last week she told me she ended things with OM and she invited me back to her apartment. I accepted. Things were very cordial. She knows that she can't be trusted because she still loves OM. It was with great uncertainty that I actually stayed a second night. S10 and S6 enjoyed the time I was there as I did with them. When I returned the 2nd night after work I had an anxiety attack when I walked in and she was playing a guitar that was a gift from OM and within a few minutes OM was calling on her cell phone.
Things are not over between them entirely.
I haven't read your whole situation but I have read some of the changes you and your W have gone through.
Frankly, right now, you are my hero. I hope things continue to go well for you. I understand the struggle and the patience and reserve that are required.
I'll try to be more in tune with your sitch as I think I need to get back to my own DB'ing.
TheWanderer _______________________ Me: 36 W: 37 S10 & S6 Married 12 yrs Bomb: 8/21/06 She moved out: 9/13/06 Sold family home: 5/07 Currently living in separate apartments 90 miles away from each other, joint custody of kids.
