i'm clueless....

[Dom R]

Hey Ann... gald you've found some "real-life" support for yourself. that must be realy nice

...
Don't get me wrong, I am still doing all my wife stuff, but I'm not playing his little games with him. For instance: night before last, I was taking my time for me after I put the girls to bed and he got upset about something that had nothing to do with me, so I responded by saying that I didn't know and ignored the rest of his rant.

Mmm.. you're still playing his game. you're just not being as active a participant.
Allowing yourself to sit there and be a target of inappropriate rantage, is still "playing his game".

HOWEVER: I think there's a difference between a spouse ranting AT you, vs a spouse 'sharing'.
In a really dumb male way, he might be trying to 'share' his feelings of anger at other people. Men sometimes do that.
Think of it this way:
Some women, get together with other women, and "have a good cry" about things that are bothering them.
Whereas some men, get together with other men, and "have a good rant" about things that are bothering them.

If you arent emotionally geared to deal with that sort of behaviour from him, that doesnt mean you have to deal with it.
However, IF you think that's what he might be trying to do... that might give you motivation to attempt to ... redirect? his communication style in some way with you.

In other words.. if he's trying to "share".. then just ignoring hiim, is actually "bad". in that it shuts down his attempt to communicate and share with you. So maybe ask/convince him to alter the communication to use other methods?

If on the other hand, he really is using it as an excuse to get mad AT YOU... then in my opinion, it is bad to allow him to continue that. Even if you just sit there silently and dont fight back.
Better to stand up for yourself and tell him what he is doing isnt appropriate.
It may be difficult for you to do. but it will result in a better relationship between you, i think.