I wouldn't say she doesn't have one, I would say that she doesn't 'get' what responsibility means when dealing with another ADULT in a marriage. And plays the victim instead of feeling like she has any power of her own - until she breaks and then she is 'all powerful' over her life and her desires.
Still, I think about the good things she does and if it weren't for this 'blockage' she has when dealing with relationships with men she'd be pretty complete. I understand it comes from her childhood abuse but still, she is AWARE of it and doesn't get real help for it.
Stop making excuses for her.
She "gets it" perfectly, Frank.
She just doesn't care and is 'pissy' because she knows she actually should be paying her way but she can't carry her own weight.
You may soon need to make some difficult moves such as unloading the car before she destroys whatever good credit you do have. Additionally, revisit that roommate (college boarder) question someone brought up a while back. And tell her it's time to go because she sucks the life and light right out of that house.
