If you recall, in January, she opened up her own checking account, and ordered her employer to deposit her payroll into her own account. At that time, we agreed that I would (continue to) pay all of the bills, and she would deposit money into my account for this purpose. Tomorrow will be the fourth paycheck that she has received under this arrangement, yet she has made just one deposit into my account. The car payment and mortgage are currently delinquent (damaging my credit).
Mark,
I understand the principle you are following in not filing yourself, I really do. I'm beginning to question the wisdom of sticking to it.
From one perspective, you are forcing her to be responsible for her decision to leave the marriage. From another perspective, you are shielding her from the consequences of that decision. Right now she can do whatever she wants--hoard money, schtup Shrek, and abuse you--without any consequence. The person who pays for all of these decisions is you. By delaying she gets to maintain daily access to the kids, live in the house and drive the car, and cook up ways to extract the greatest benefit possible from the divorce. From what you have said, Shrek has a lot of experience with divorce--so I'm sure that they are colluding against you.
The question I have is this: at what point is your stand on principle going to hurt your kids? You have already conceded that the divorce is inevitable. So if you let her ruin you financially, who else is it going to effect? I doubt very much that your W and Shrek will worry much about saving for college funds, weddings, etc. After all, they have love, and don't need anything else. So you, being the responsible one, will step up to the plate because that is the kind of guy you are. In fact, I'll bet she's counting on that.
