Not sure how to handle this

[Starshyne]

mishka, I totally could have written what you wrote. My H and I share a bed and while we used to sleep close together, we now are as far apart as you can be in a Queen sized bed. I am scared that I am going to touch him and make him upset. Although last night he was sleeping close to me. I think it was by accident, but I really liked it. Anyhow....I am not sure how this part lasts, but I sure don't like it and hope it isn't very long.

I also have been asked "Why are you crying?" And I just want to scream...why the hell do you think I am crying? Nothing in my life is the way I want it to be. You are my husband and I can't touch you. But yeah...we can't do that.

I wish I had some sort of advice to give. I do know that I and MC can be done at the same time. My H and I did that a few years ago. Now my H wants nothing to do with C of any kind. I am hoping he will change his mind. I start I counseling next week.

This sure is difficult, isn't it?