OK, I'm going to respond without reading anyone else's replies. That way I am unclouded. So it might be a repeat.
In a Relationship with a new person I believe you need to know significant sexual history - especially as it affects you - ie any problems, any diseases, some idea of numbers. Despite the fact it is a difficult thing to talk about initially - it has to be done. Next you slowly reveal other things like your other involvements - family, co-workers, your commitments, anything significant financially - like if you've had a bankruptcy or such, pertinent health info and emotional, psychological issues. You don't spill it all out at once but it is not ok to keep these things in a closet either. Some things need to come out naturally without waiting TOO long.
With your kids - it depends on their ages and if there is a good chance something not so great might be found out. For example - my husband had an affair. My 19 year old son knew of it right off the bat - even found his dad with the whore. I did not share this info with my 12 year old daughter. When it became evident that she was about to find out - I told her then. When my son was 12, his dad did something bad that made the newspaper. I knew he would hear about it at school - so I told him myself so he could cope better. But it is not so likely my daughter will ever find that out. To this day, I have not told her.
I think that trust is earned. When my ex tried to return after our split he said "You will never trust me again" to which I replied "Trust is earned - you have to be trustworthy in order to be trusted". To this day - he hasn't got it. He still likes to "lie" to me. I think it is part of his little fantasty to feel he is getting away with something. I wonder how he trusts his wife who lied to her family in order to do as she pleased. Wonder what the trust between them is like.
I think the hardest thing for me is trusting male/female friendships. Although many platonic Rs exist, I find that it often involves one who wants more. And although, I do believe men and women can be friends, one must do periodic spot checks on how intimate the friendship is. For example - Josh (my BF) has one woman friend he used to work with. He gets together with her about once a year - usually for dinner. The reason it bothers me a teeny bit is because I've never met her. However, with me living 1.5 hours away - it just has never happened. Can't say I'm that concerned as she is married, but a bit concerned because they live apart. The thing is - I'm not so sure I trust HER, but I do trust him. With all my heart. And that's what counts. I'm sure if I met her I would see that my lack of trust is unfounded. But we are formed by our past experiences and most of us got the "She's just a friend" line.
I'm sure there is lots more I could say but that's a start.
