Poll on Honesty

[shoeprincess]

Just thought I would throw this question out and see what people had to say:

What does honesty mean to you in a relationship? Any kind of relationship; honesty between friends, between a husband and wife, between a girl friend and a boyfriend, honesty with your kids?

Oh and please just don't lurk, if you came to read this than you can post a response

[Trip]

Very good question, shoe.

I need to ponder on this because lately, it seems like the honesty lines are becoming blurred.

[shoeprincess]

Thanks Trip,
I am just finding that people have differant definaitions on it.

[Trip]

Looks like this must be a tough question for some people here.


Anyhow, what about variations or levels of the truth? I think about that too. And do those little white lies make a person just as dishonest as the big ones? Do white lies count or are they just as destructive? Do they add up?

I try to live my life as honest as I can and give honesty to those ask and around here, sometimes to those that don't. I can honestly say, that I would take the truth said to me more than not because I believe the truth lets me know where I stand with the person I am having a relationship with(be it friends, family, or the more intimate).

[braveheart]

A lot of people really don't want to hear the truth.

[whiskey.tango]

Most important to me is complete honesty with myself. The less honest I am with myself, the honesty factor degrades the further I get away from myself.

I think that's the core. Each time you are not honest with someone in your life, you are dishonest with yourself. I guess it depends on how much you want to sleep - dishonesty will keep you up at night.

I think you also reflect what others give you. Why be 100% honest with someone who's not honest with you? Is omission lying? Yes. Is it lying when you soften your answer, maybe don't give all the information? If it's critical information that will hurt that person, yes. If it's not a close enough relationship to expose that much personal information, then no.

I don't feel you have to lay your life out to everyone you meet. I believe in discretion. To me that's not lying, it's how much of the truth you are willing to share. But again, if withholding is harmful, not a good deal.

I hope I made sense, it's early.

A_O

[Just_Me]

Oh and please just don't lurk, if you came to read this than you can post a response

Control much lately?

Just kidding.

Does anyone really want complete honesty? It doesn't do a relationship any good to hear about every time that you are upset with them if it doesn't amount to much and can just blow over. I do think a person needs to be forthcoming with their feelings if there is something that stands in the way of the relationship meeting its full potential. Of course my partner would need to be faithful to me. I'd expect she would be honest about her feelings for me and about our future together. It seems that some walk-aways continue to talk about events that will occur in OUR future while thinking about walking away. But unless there is something sneaky and underhanded that underlies a little white lie, I'm not going to pick apart a little white lie and get all upset about it. There are plenty of people that have been burned that scrutinize what you say, word for word, and jump at any inconsistency, even if it's just a slip of the tongue. I don't think that "honesty" means that I need to know every little thing about what my partner is doing or thinking.

[fig]

I might not need to know EVERYTHING either but there are some big doosies out there

like I might not want to know that I have dragon breath in the morning (partly because I already know)

My ex like to use "honesty"in cruel ways...like I get that I need to lose weight I don't need it thrown at me everyday (and that makes we want to eat to drown the pain...cyclical much)

anyway

For me honesty is very important

I have had friends say some pretty blantantly horrible things. THings that weren't true...and didn't need to be said but htey were forhte effect that their response would have on other people...

a kind of letting me know my place sort of thing

that really made me question their friendship (which it should)

there are people..andIfeel badly for them...that always need to be on top and a lot of time that comes at the expense of the people around them and usually at the expense of the people that believed in them the most

BF and I have a strict honesty policy...i have been married to a sociopathic compulsive liar...truth is important to me...it's how I base my judgements

the truth might not be easy
but it is crucial

and

whoever said wehave to be honest with ourselves is right on

(right on my brutha)

so I have to realize and understand when I ask the question that BF will give me tha absolute truth
and
maybe
sometimes
i don't want to know if these pants make my asssssss look big
they are comfy and that is the only truth I need, right?

[FRIEND]

Honesty is very important..................I can't stand a liar.

You lose all trust. When you lose that, you really lose everything.

I've always taught my daughter's not to lie. Of course I'm talking about big lies, lies that do real harm especially to your reputation. There's nothing worse then being known as a liar in my book.

[No_hill_for_a_Swimmer]

To the men. when asked the age old question
Honey do I look fat in this dress?


The only proper response is
To immediately fall on the floor and have seizure.