This is a good point. W doesn't think anything she is doing is 'wrong' in any way. The 'text messaging buddy - married guy' is not a problem to her. The affair 2 years ago, well, it was a 'growth thing she had to go through'. It took a long time for her to admit that the affair was 'wrong' and even now I don't think she has really come to terms with it. She is in denial and is able to 'justify' it even today.
This is what bothers me. Exactly when is your wife supposed to grow a conscience? Maybe she never will. Maybe her mental, moral and spiritual universe is so amorphous and self-centered that she may never come to grips with the concepts of accountability and responsibility. Maybe the best she can do is live by her impulses and feelings. Basically, "I'm OK, you're OK."
My therapist is minister and he told me he recently preached a sermon is Norman Vincent Peale's (Power of Positive Thinking) old church. The title was, "I'm NOT OK, You're NOT OK, and that's OK". The congregation was scandalized that someone would dare to say that they might have some problems, or perhaps we might need to admit fault.
