Well, last night she wanted to talk, so we did. I stayed calm the entire time!! She basically tried to hurt me as much as possible, saying that she didn't love me and never would, wished she had left a long time ago, etc. We discussed my MLC and of course she said that she wasn't going through that. She did admit that she was depressed a lot, but that she could not be happy with me.
But here is the main thing I wanted to share and get input on. First, she says that I have turned her freinds against her. We have mutual friends that were divorced and are now getting back together. They have been very supportive of us over this time. She started talking to them about us first and then I did too. Nice to have someone that you can vent and ask questions of. Basically, since they are both telling her that she should work on the M, then they are taking my side and therefore I have turned them against her. I told her that maybe they know first hand how it works and are telling her what they thing is in our best interest... She didn't buy it.
Second, she tells me that for 15 years that I was not the husband I should have been and didn't have her as my high prioritty. I agreed because that is accurate. Then she tells me that for the past year and a half I have been the husband that I should have always been and that she always wanted. She actually said that! Now she is mad at me and mad at herself I guess for putting up with me for 15 years. But she won't just enjoy the change and work on our M together. She did say that a leopard never changes and that I would go back. I said that I wouldn't, that it had been 19 months now and that I had made some life altering changes that would stick this time.
I stopped the discussion by saying that our friends and I care a lot about her and are here for her when she is ready. This morning she seemed to be in a good mood and I complemented her on how she looked. She said thank you. Small steps! But they go both ways I guess.
