Tia,
I will look into the KLA forum, as I can use anything that can help. I have searched there before, but constantly can not figure out what it is that I need to work on.

Every issue my H has ever brought up about me is immediately contridicted in the next conversation. Every time I have ever done anything he doesn't like he blows up at me, but then will later say oh it really was no big deal or that I took it the wrong way. And the efforts I take to make up for mistakes are always "too little too late".

The only major issue he always brings up is that I didn't support him and his business by not purchasing these two houses that he wanted. My decision to say "no" was a sound one, he was in debt, the houses were dumps, I was teaching full time, coaching Varsity cheerleading and going to grad school and told him I didn't think I could help him with the fixer uppers and personally didn't want to move into one of them.He bought them with out me and ever since, he has resented me. I did everything possible to make up for it and I bought us a duplex that was way better and he loved. But it was too little too late.

When he left me the second time, he admitted that I have been great to him and that he knows that I was putting 100% into our marriage, but he could only give 50% cause he simply doesn't feel the passion for me anymore.

I am attractive and young and full of life and love and I have a great group of friends. I am a teacher, a coach, a romantic, and love to do hobbies & sports. My H is a short but very attractive contractor, a heavy drinker, depressed, money hungry, hates life and the hand he was dealt, and most of our old friends cant stand him now.

So sometimes I get really urked that I am constantly reading things that tell me to work on myself and improving me. I am not trying to be concieted, but I feel like I have done the best I can for myself allready. I know that no one is perfect, but I am very content with the life I have built for myself and the person that I am. Many people admire me and most people pity my H. WHAT ABOUT HIM WORKING ON IMPROVING HIMSELF.

I guess this is the point I am at. I have done everything I can and could to please this man, and nothing was ever enough. He has major issues and until he fixes them, I simply feel like he is not worthy of coming back to me.

So yes, I really wanted his third time back to last, but after one short week, I could tell their are some major issues he still need to be alone to deal with and hopefully fix. This was my breaking point, for the first time in my life I stood up to him and told him he is the one with problems I don't like, instead of vice versa. It wasn't easy but I know it was the right choice even though yelling and pursuing don't help me get him back, this did let me take the upper hand for once in our M.

I sure won't give up yet. I also hope that this is just one step in our journey of a thousand miles together. I will detatch and until he proves to me he want to be back, I will consider moving on with my life.
TIPPER