Your pain comes through loud and clear. I feel for you. You have gone through so much losing your family members. And now you feel less than whole again. I never went through what you have gone through, but even just being cast aside in my marriage was enough.
The questions you are are difficult to answer. But I do want to help to get you in the right direction.
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I simply can't take another huge loss like this.
Humans have the capacity to be extremely strong. You have two lovely duaghters. They need for you to be able to handle a loss like this. They need their mother. This is where you need to focus your energies. Even though you have been through difficult trial in your life, you have still been blessed. Focus on what you have rather than what you do not have. It isn't easy. It isn't going to happen overnight. But set a goal that you will work through this. Set a goal that you will be there for your daughters. This is how you start the healing process. This is where your 180 begins.
Good luck. Don;t let your emotions control you. you control your emotions.
