It's natural to be apprehensive (scared) about seeing the possible end of this long dark tunnel. One feels afraid to get one's hope up after having been hurt so badly before.
All I can offer is that if you put your faith in God, trust this to His care, you will come out fine. People are fallible; they're human. Placing one's faith so heavily on another person is too much of a burden for them. Eventually they will fail us to one degree or another, sad to say. It's really not fair to you or to them.
This is a hard lesson I've had to learn.
If instead we put that faith in God first and foremost, He will not fail us. It may not turn out the way we originally intended, but it will happen according to His love and understanding of what we truly need, if we let Him. So should/when our mate stumble, then we will be less likely to stumble right along with them as a direct result -- and we are then strong enough and secure enough to be able to help them back up.
Give your love and compassion to your spouse, but put your faith in God first (before your spouse) and it will work out.
(Okay, enough with the sermon.)
I just wanted to let you know I love you guys -- hang in there. I think you're ready.
