To "Piece" or not to "Piece....

[almosthopeful]

He's ballsy, our Richie

That wasn't nice to say was it?

Why not? It's the truth.

Hugs again.

[Jeanette1120]

He's ballsy, our Richie

I shall have to invoke the 48 hour rule before replying to this quesion

Those who know my LONG ago posts....know why

[FaithfulH]

(((Jeanette))),

Stay strong....remember the basics. You know where you found your strength....and it wasn't from Richie Rich....Don't let his confusion lead you to confusion....keep on your knees looking for answers from the only ONE who matters. In the end, your stability could be what saves your XH. Lots of women here have prayed their H's back to safety....mine included.

BTW, I have to fess up....my lovely W and I were not far from you last week. We spent a few days at Fort Myers. I am ready to move from the cold Northeast to sunny Florida! I wanted so much to hop across the state to see you....and more than that, I wanted my W to meet you. Maybe next trip.... do you forgive me?

[cagzmom]

Jeannette- holy freakin' cow.

Ok my $5.00 worth.

Letting him (YES LETTING HIM)move back in uhhh my friend. THINK THINK THINK. You are divorced. I realize it is legal BOTH of your home but uh -- YOU live there it IS YOUR HOME. Do you see it? YOU ARE INDEPENDENT of him its been 2.5 years my friend.

You are amazing-strong and wonderful. You have grown and he is still stuck. He is progressing - but stuck..I think you are awesome!!!

[Jeanette1120]

{{{FaithfulH}}}

It is good to hear from you my friend! Can I forgive you? Thats a trick question huh? Of course I can. But perhaps not the next time!! I was only 2 hours away!!! It's good to read you and your lovely wife are doing great!

Cagz, Thanks sweetie for dropping by. I agree with your $5.00. I did alot of sorting of thougths last night.

Rich is a manipulator. He manipulates with is quiet ways. He's not a loud person at all. He's the kind that could truly convince you the sky is purple. His big brown eyes will puddle with a tear....

Our conversation the other night confimed many things to me. The simple fact that his excuses for leaving our marriage, our home and our future are ludicrous!

I flirted
I didn't listen
I was disrespectful??

It's all blaming me. Nothing was his fault. The domino effect means nothing. I did those things long AFTER he dropped the bomb. Hell, I didn't even do those things when I found out he was sneaking off to NYC to meet up with the woman we met at his High School reunion 2 years prior to his leaving. I became a better more caring wife....he mistreated my forgiveness and kindness.

Rich is a creature of habit. His patterns remain the same. With his first wife. With me. His families patterns remain the same. With his first wife. With me.

This tells me that we will remain the same unless someone actually puts their foot down and breaks the chain.

Epiphany. It does not matter if we sell this house or not. It eventually is going anyway. Do it now, break the chain, I gain my independance of him, he remains miserably stuck by himself. Then and only then will he be able to understand the cause and effect cycle. This does not mean I will not be around, it just means he will not be able to control me. He needs to control himself.

I combined the two emails I sent to him. I again stressed to him that I mean business. His words on the phone to me were nothing but words. The motions will be filed unless I receive something mor substantial than words. He needs to do the right thing. If he wants to work on "us" then I should not be put into this position right? He should be able to do the right thing without this happening.

I need out of this cycle. I can have my own place and not deal with his wishy washy ways of not facing up to his responsibilites. Let his mother deal with it. I DO NOT HAVE TO.

It will not change the course of what will happen. It will set the course for what needs to happen.

Time will tell if he is sincere or not. I am ok either way.

Hugs!

Jeanette

[soonergal]

Hey ((((Jeanette)))) sweetie!
Thought I'd hop on the BB to see if I could find any oldtimers threads and I see several on yours! After reading your postings, it looks like you have had a ride. Remember our timelines are similar, my H also left Oct 05 and is still out but in much better contact. Yes, I'm still standing. Yes, it's frustrating at times. Yes, there are still days that I hurt (but they are few and far between). I have found my peace thru God and HE is keeping my strong. Occasionally the devil rears his ugly head and causes me to doubt what I'm doing but I'm pretty good at squashing him down.

No legal actions have taken place, H is still paying bills and helping me any house problems that come up. Still participating in family functions, still nice to me and others (most of the time), A stopped for over 1 yr, H in now initiating contact and some hugs. YIPPEE!!

I miss everyone here but since not much change in my sitch, I didn't feel able to add to most conversations. Still don't like the new look to the BB, it's too hard to find people. Can I join in your (virtual) party too? tee hee

(((hugs to you)
Soonergal

[Jeanette1120]

{{{{Babs}}}}

I had to do a double look! Talk about flash from the past! I'm so glad things are going well. It's marvelous that your H is keeping you in the family and being part of the family!!!

I'm soooooo happy you stopped by!!

I would say more but....you may not read it

I'll look for you tomorrow on AIM!!!

HUGS

Jeanette

[cagzmom]

Jeanette- you have taught me to look at for me. As with your H mine too is a manipulator-- yes they can sell snow to an eskimo. AND WE ARE NOT BUYING. The tears - would be nice if they were real, but I do believe you saw the lining in the middle....the tears come with BLAME TO YOU? uhhhhh hmmm intersting isn't it.

You know how i "FEEL" about you. Keep doing what you are doing..you know what to do. I said to C tonight..its like I have all the tools now..I know what to do...now it is time to DO what I know. As you have--- =) you go girl!

[Jeanette1120]

Sigh

I'm so confused.

The gates of my xh's hell opened last night. His demons have grown bigger than I ever imagined.

Last night was oficially the longest most meaningful conversation we have had since he walked out the door. It was also a very very sad tragic conversation. He has held so much inside for his entire life I'm not sure if he will ever be able to live a happy life and accept what it has given him.

Some of you know of his fertility problems and his need to have a child of his own. Preferable male. When I used to refer to OW as his brood mare, I wasn't far off the mark.

I will try and post more later about our conversation, but right now I feel like it's too personal. He's so lost in his life about his incapabilities.

I would like to help him, but I don't know if I can. I know he needs to sort things out for himself, but I also know that he will need guidance much stronger than I can give.

The world is his enemy.

How the hell does this happen?? Do they just keep this bottled inside them until it becomes such a huge infection their is no treatment for it?

I gained some very knowledgable insight to the mind of the MLC'er last night. It's overwhelming.

Since I haven't a clue now of what to do, I shall do nothing. I will continue on as planned, but I have a deeper understanding of him now.

Hugs,

Jeanette

[Grace_O]

(((Jeanette)))

Too many do hold too much inside. Never speaking it and it does grow and fester. I'm not one that believes there is no cure, just those who won't get the perscription. That he was capable of speaking it IMO is a good thing. Yes, you saw how big and ugly the monster is, but perhaps in showing you the monster lost some of it's strength (if only temporarily).

It is all so very sad. I hope your deeper understanding will lead you to a greater sense of peace.