Back on the Roller Coaster - OW still around

[fooled again]

Mike,

I wish I could be as optimistic as you, but I don't think H is there yet, as much as I'd like him to be. Snodderly's thread on reconnecting, TMAK-Explanation of Reconnection (sorry, I messed up the link in my last post), specifically discusses being especially patient when the MLCer is starting to reconnect and not pressuring him/her. I think asking him to leave some clothes here and/or asking him to move back home could easily be seen as pressure. He knows I want him to come home - we talked about it on Sunday night. But he pretty much came out and said that he wasn't ready, he talked about "figuring things out". Besides, he read my list of "things I'd like to see that will show me he's going to come home", which kindof sucks b/c there's no mystery. On the other hand, I've pretty much handed him an instruction manual so there isn't alot of confusion either. I suppose when he is ready to take those baby steps, he will, and I'll know what his intentions are.

I'm so grateful for your support, but I know that I have to stay my course for the time being and not drop anchor until we are truly in a safe harbor, and I can clearly see that we're not there yet. There are more positive signs and I am receptive w/out being clingy. He reached out and pulled me close to sit on his knee tonight b/f he took D to his place.

I think that the fact that he brings up others asking me out shows me he is testing the waters, seeing my reaction, if I look guilty. I think that by ignoring the comments I leave him to speculate - I don't want to make him fear that I am actually dating someone, but neither do I want him to think that the it's an impossibility. He already knows that if things don't work out for us in the end, I wouldn't have any difficulty getting a date.

So amid all of these positive signs I have to remain calm, patient and partially detached - I don't know where he is at in the reconnection phase and I don't want to assume anything. That will only lead to disappointment. Snodderly said that it's important to keep your expectations at zero right now, so this is what I'm trying to do. At least until we can communicate about our R, and our needs.

Sounds like you're tackling some long overdue projects - that's got to make you feel good. I wish I was a bit handier - maybe I'll make that part of my GALing!! Do-it-yourselfing!

FA