Tia, I don't know if you know, but my H's third time back only lasted a week. Then he left again because I said I dont like the amount of drinking and time he spends at the bars.
If I were there, I would hug you! I know its not easy. But, do not give up! Michele mentioned, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step."
Tipper, he came home four times! Kissak was correct, this happens with other MLC'ers. (Typo existed earlier.) Heck, some come home and leave seven or more times! But there is hope. However, you must believe it! Go into your Secret Place and seek solutions. In each case, what caused him to leave? Write it down, and do NOT repeat it!
IMHO, his last *attempt* did not last b/c you over-pursued. Mind you, he has problems. Your 180/GAL attempts helped. However, you spent a lot of time together, got drunk, and nagged. I strongly recommend to go back with the GAL/180s. Be consistent! Even if he moves back in, stay away from R issues, and continue the GAL/180s. Remember what Michele says? Keep doing what works! In time, you can both address solution-oriented therapy, boundaries, and marital goals.
He's an MLC'er, a heavy drinker, with a possible BPD condition. In DR, Michele recommends that MLC wives become patient listeners. You can validate what he says, but do not agree w/ it! Hopefully, while you detach, he'll come around. As you learned before, nagging, yelling, and over-pursuing does NOT work!
I asked you to review the KLA forum. It offers a wealth of information. You can initiate the changes yourself. You can start today!
