Not sure how to post the links, but I am thinking of you, man. You have been trying so hard to manage through this, and it is really hard, isn't it? I feel your pain and am with you. We are not alone in this, even though it is probably one of the most awful experiences a person can go through. Keep writing and practicing self-care wherever you can. Let others support you too. Are you getting counseling for yourself? It could be a useful support.
