I believe that the beginning of a relationship is a very important time for setting boundaries and ground rules and so I just want to make sure that I'm not weak about it.
I am a huge believer in what you have posted. I believe that if the ground rules and/or boundaries are not established and respected upfront - the R cannot work longterm.
Quote:
My male co-worker thinks its a red flag that he went to New Orleans a party town over springbreak without me.
I don't think that going to party for a week w/o a SO is a red flag in itself. However, the fact that he was not honest and upfront about his plans to go away for a week w/o you is a red flag to me. And the fact that he unilaterally changed his mind about the extended weekend with you to weeklong w/o you is a red flag. (It is possible that he never intended to go on the weekend at all.)
I have male and female friends that sometimes take weeklong vacations w/o their SO. Escpecially friends with kids - each spouse sometimes gives the other spouse a chance to get away while they take care of the kids. However my friends include their SO in the decision making process. The SO knows where they are going and with who. There is normal and routine keeping in touch while they are away. There is nothing to hide. No one feels uncomfortable.
Quote:
This guy does many really nice things for me and he's normally very considerate.
I don't believe is score keeping - in the sense that he is usually good to you and therefore is entitled to sometimes be inconsiderate. Each interaction stands on its own is should be resolved by itself.
I have not ventured out into the R world yet. I am interested in your approach - it sounds like it may parallel my own if I ever get out there.
