H is having affair after all

[Holly06]

Evie,

ss why hire someone to follow him? Save the $ or spend it on yourself. Assume it is still going on, and leave it at that. He is still lost, still misguided and still a bit narcissistic.
The sooner you spend positive energy on heeling yourself instead of trying to prove yourself right, is the day you will feel better, and Toots, I want you to FEEL better. I know feeling "good" or "ok" is a stretch but I want you to feel better. Spend all this energy on YOU.

Why do you need to know?

What you need to know will come your way innocently.

I want you to do something for me.

Assume your H is psychically in tune to you. He know that you still love him and would take him back in a heartbeat. Why should he change anything when he has 2 women that fill his love ego up?

Now imagine that you shut off the tune in method. He doesn't know how you are feeling, and worse, you act as if you have accepted this and moved on and are OK.
He will find other ways to keep tabs on you, because he has to keep some connections to you, because, he does still love you, and he doesn't want to lose you, he just doesn't know it, he is not in tune with his own unconscious.

There are lots of references that I can send your way to support this, but it is too early for you yet.

If you are going to continue a marriage with your H, then you need to get patient. And settle in for a long haul, maybe a year before you get any positive actions that will give you some hope.
It could be longer, or shorter, but it seems best to prepare you for longer, because then you are pleasantly surprised.
The first 3 or 4 months crawl by, but as you become better at applying the "recipe for success" then it gets easier, and maybe even a little fun.!!!!!
Then the time flies by at a better clip.

So LET IT GO!!!!!!!!!
focus all your strength on you and your children. They deserve it, H does not at this time.