Thanks Michelle, I am excited...FINALLY something happens. And this is actually a good job with good pay. I think now I just need to back off a little bit and let him get things straightened out on his own.
Oh yeah, forgot to mention how my injury is doing today. I have a HUGE bruise and it hurts to sit...which is basically what I do at work all day. I went running last night and it about killed me. Hopefully it will get better soon.
Hey, klm! Sorry to hear about the fall - ouch! - and like Michelle said, at least it wasn't your face or even worse, like broken bones or teeth - double ouch ! I hope you're feeling better.
Everything seems to be going pretty well! I'm happy for you and your H! Congrats on his new job! Definitely great not just for him, but for you as well. Hopefully less strain moneywise.
I hear ya on how you want more from H. Feels like you're giving more than you're receiving in return. Many times, I felt that way myself. I was making all the changes I needed to, being more of a friend to my H than I had been in the past, giving praise and support when he needed it.....all that wonderful stuff, and then feeling like I wasn't getting even half as much in return. Huge bummer.
Lots of time. Lots of patience. Lots of work. Need lots of all three, don't we?
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
Ugh! I woke up this morning sick...and I feel like my butt is just getting sorer by the minute. I am thinking of leaving work but I have a lot to do and I am having trouble accessing things from home....so I will probably just end up staying.
H's job will definitely put less strain on me...now, if I could only sell that house! He is going to orientation today and will find out more about the hours he will be working. Hopefully this will get his self esteem up.
Yes GF, I feel like I am bending over backwards for my H and he seems to be ambivalent. That is why I feel like I should back off for a while. Let him make contact. Hopefully I won't feel the need to contact him as much now that he has this job. Before a lot of my contact was because I was worried about him paying his bills or even having the money to eat.
Patience is the hardest for me. I am like your H GF...I want things solved now. My H is more like you. He always needs his space. If we would argue or disagree about something then I would want to discuss it right then. H would need to cool off first.
I'm sorry to hear you aren't feeling well. I hope it's just a little sniffle and not something big. Maybe you can see about leaving early or something?
I hope you feel better soon.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Less contact initiated by you is a very good idea, I think. Think of it as weaning him, gradually letting him go, allowing him to mature and become a bit more independent. It could only do him good, and hopefully he'll begin to pursue you a little more. I know you worry about him, it almost wouldn't be right if you didn't, but maybe with less contact from you, you'll start to see more of what you'd like coming from him.
Hope you made it through the day. Get well soon!
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
I think you are right GF...I need to start letting him go again. I just jumped right back into doing everything for him. I think he NEEDS to be more independent. He pursued before but I guess once I started doing all the work he backed off and let me.
H didn't call me yesterday so I didn't hear how his orientation went. Usually on Thursdays we get together and watch Lost...but I am not going to call him tonight. We'll see if he calls me. I am betting that he won't. He will just say he figured if I wanted to come over I would have called. That's what he does...always puts it back on me.
I felt horrible yesterday. I actually almost called my mom or H to come pick me up from work because I didn't think I could make the drive home. I finally went home and took some nyquill. Slept FOREVER. I feel a little better today but not 100%. I may do the nyquill thing again tonight. For some reason I am losing my voice and I can BARELY talk. UGH...I hate being sick.
I think he NEEDS to be more independent. He pursued before but I guess once I started doing all the work he backed off and let me.
That's a good observation and something you have control over.
Originally Posted By: klm
Usually on Thursdays we get together and watch Lost...but I am not going to call him tonight. We'll see if he calls me. I am betting that he won't. He will just say he figured if I wanted to come over I would have called. That's what he does...always puts it back on me.
While I agree it's good to have low expectations - i.e. that he won't initiate contact much - I think you are predicting a negative outcome. Be careful not to let your prediction influence your behavior and thus become reality.
I hope you feel better soon! Take care of yourself.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
. Hopefully it will get better soon.
! I hope you're feeling better.
