No, Sara, I'm not sending the letter. It was good for me to write it, but as Puppy likes to say, you can't teach an infidel. I was getting ready to send it when I realized that I knew exactly what her reaction would be as she opened it and read it. Nothing would sink in and she'd just feel annoyed, or worse, nothing at all.
No, I think the best advice is what many people on these boards say but is so hard to truly accept. You have to let the other person go completely - no games, no manipulation. Just focus on yourself and your own life to be the best that you truly can be. Make yourself happy. If your spouse still has the remainder of some feelings for you, maybe those embers will be fanned back into flames. But sometimes your spouse has changed - had changed a while ago without saying anything to you or working to involve you in those changes. Sometimes your spouse is just on their own journey and they're selfish. So when they say the M is dead, it is.
That's where I think my W is, anyway. And to a certain extent she's right. Our M was dead. I should D myself from that M. If I regain my positivity and somewhere down the line she is attracted once again by that, well, it'd be up to her to regain my attraction. But my task now is to make sure I'm really reclaiming my life.
