Okay, there are two separate issues going on here and I'm playing catch-up!
Dar, I am sorry about your daughter and I know how you feel firsthand. It is sickening. Please emphasize that your daughter has done the right thing and that she is not in any way to blame. Additionally, this amounts to sexual harrasment in the way that you describe it. That other child should be in counseling. What may or may not have happened to HER is not your problem. There are psychological tests that can be administered to a child that will reveal the any abuse she herself may have suffered. I know because when my daughter was 10, she had to take them. Insist the other child's guardians take action now or someone else is going to suffer later.
Your husband: Leave him alone and hush your mouth.
I know you're not being hurtful and just being honest. But, I'd like to know, why is it okay for you and anyone else to want their H back, but it seems you don't want that happiness for me as well?
OMG.
Dar, you can be on your own now if you want to. No one else need ever post to you again since you obviously know that your way is THE way to get your husband back. I can't believe you just said that to BND. WTH???
Get some type of help for financial help, either chid support or maintainance.
Go see someone to secure your finances.
Set up a regular visitation for your Daughter.
If he shows up, great.
This is why I said that I didn't mean anything hurtful by it either. I was simply asking a question as to why. I see other posters and they're going through the same thing and are encouraged to be strong where I'm encouraged to change and leave him alone since he's gone. I know he's gone. I live with that every day.
I've never said my way is THE right way. It's obvious that it's not.
Amy, the other mom(aunt, whatever) stopped me in the hall on the way in from picking up D yesterday evening. She was under the impression that it happened yesterday morning only. I set that straight right away. I told her exactly what D told me and how sickened I am. She looked upset as well, said her d is giving her a run for her money, and said she'll be talking to her d last night. She also apologized and asked me to call her if my D says anything else is going on. I told her I won't have them together and by themselves anymore for it to happen and the school knows this. Unfortunately, the after school teacher asked me if the principle or social worker called me yesterday because the s.worker said he would. I haven't heard from anyone yet and I left a message for the principle a couple hours ago. I won't let this go b/c I definately understand that little girl needs some help.
Get some type of help for financial help, either chid support or maintainance.
Go see someone to secure your finances.
Set up a regular visitation for your Daughter.
If he shows up, great.
This is why I said that I didn't mean anything hurtful by it either. I was simply asking a question as to why. I see other posters and they're going through the same thing and are encouraged to be strong where I'm encouraged to change and leave him alone since he's gone. I know he's gone. I live with that every day.
I've never said my way is THE right way. It's obvious that it's not.
Dar, it's because you keep walking around the same old mountain all these FREAKIN months later!
Everyone was plenty sweet and supportive of you in the beginning of it all. But you are, for the most part, standing right smack in the same spot you were standing in 3 months ago. And everytime you progress, you slide right back HERE.
I guess I don't know how to change myself. My days are the same each and every time I wake up...it's like that movie Groundhogs Day. I wake up, get ready, wake D up, get her to school, go to work, come home, make dinner, do homework w/D, play a bit, get ready for bed, read in bed, go to sleep. Wake up and do the same. How is one suppposed to change when they only have so much time in one day and it doesn't fit the GAL time at all??
But in order for me to think about things for myself, I have to do those things and I just don't see how I have the extra time to cram into my day. I exercise now that it's nice out again and that's about it because I can include my D and our dog with me.
Sorry I'm a downer today. I think I suck at this and am ready to throw in the towel because of it.
change your way of thinking about the things you already do
start to think of your daughter and you as a unit...he may come back later, he might not...you and your daughter are your unit NOW
so
instead of focusing thinking time wondering ifhe will notice this or call for that or how he like the sheets to smell or whatever....start putting the focus on you and your family unit
you like the smell of bounce but used whatever because he liked it change it to what you like
rediscover who you are
LSS left I had two smallish boys at home 3 jobs no freetime
but I still found time to wonder and hope and nag and cry and whatever
that time was much better spent when I started writing letters to friends, painting, reading books for my pleasure...not to figure out my love language or whatever (although those books are good)
